A Sparrow's Selah

⁹Who among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him. Matthew 7:9-11 CSB

I am thankful to say that I grew up with an amazing father. When I would tell him that, he would automatically and humbly say, “I’m not perfect.” He is correct, because he is not God, but I know that I am blessed. It is sad to think that there are those who did not have a good example of a father who delighted in giving good gifts to their children. For some, that can make the thought of God as Father difficult. How can God the Father be good when they did not have an example of that in their personal life? Why would they follow Him if every father or man in their life only let them down or deeply hurt them?

As I stated before, my earthly father isn’t perfect. Your earthly father who hurt you is obviously not perfect. No earthly father is. Some reflect God’s character beautifully in certain ways, while others fail their children in profound ways that affect them well into the future. To those who fit in the latter category, I cannot go on without saying that I am so sorry! You did not deserve that at all. No one does! But let me tell you this: neither the goodness nor the absolute brokenness of an earthly father determines the character of God. Our earthly fathers were never meant to be the standard by which we measure the goodness of our heavenly Father.

If even our imperfect earthly fathers know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more does your Father in heaven delight in giving good things to you? I have examples of this that will stick with me forever because they made an impact on me as a child, and they still represent God’s love to me even as an adult. I am the oldest of three siblings in my family. Starting with me, every single time Mom found out that she was pregnant, Dad would lose his job due to layoffs. It became a tradition.

I do very vaguely remember the second layoff, when I was three, and trying to understand why it was such a bad thing because I got to see my Daddy a little bit more. Best time ever! Yet I remember much more clearly when it happened again at seven, while Mom was pregnant with my younger brother. And even though I did not understand it at all, I saw the weight of what it meant in my parents’ eyes. Though they explained what was happening, they still tried to guard me from the heaviness of it. They did explain why I wouldn’t be able to get hot lunches from the school anymore, and though I never went to school hungry, meals looked different. They prepared me for some of the changes, and I learned fairly quickly to be content with what I had.

There were multiple times when God used His people to give my family and me good gifts. There were a few occasions when I was handed hot meal vouchers by my teacher as she told me someone paid for me to have a hot lunch that day. Another time, I was given a letter that said, “I hope you enjoy field day. This is a note to tell you that you will get a field day shirt.”

The biggest thing I remember from that time is seeing the check someone sent to pay my tuition. There was never a signature on any of the above, but I felt seen and loved, not just by my unknown “patron” but by God. They never signed their names, but through their handwriting, they always made sure I knew how much God loved me. To this day, I still don’t know their name (even though I have my guesses), but they always made sure I knew His.

God cared for the things that I was content with not having. I wasn’t bummed for long about not getting a hot lunch. Thinking that I wasn’t going to get the field day shirt to match all of my other classmates was the biggest sore spot, but I got over it fairly quickly. So, it meant even more that God took care of those small things that didn’t seem to matter much in light of His eternal kingdom but meant a great deal to a seven-year-old little girl. The shirt itself wasn’t eternally important, but what it taught me about my Heavenly Father at a young age, was. Our big God is also the God in the little things.

I have another example from a few years ago of how God works through His people to remind us how He cares for the “little” things. Not too long ago, as I was driving, something caught my attention as I was about to pass a gas station. I saw someone getting ready to pull out into my lane. Before she got to the exit, I don’t know what it was, but I felt as if I was being told to keep an eye out. The feeling was strong, so I slowed down a bit. Not slow enough to make it look like I was turning into the gas station or stopping, but just enough so that I felt I had time to react if something happened.

That feeling was in and of itself a gift from God because I had enough time to see that as she gunned it to get into my lane, she never once checked to see if that lane was clear. She rammed into my passenger side, but my slowing down gave me a chance to make quick judgement calls. I was able to pull into the median at the same time, so she didn’t hit me as hard. I was able to weave and stop in time without hitting another car in front of me. Thankfully we were all okay, despite the fact that her car was clearly totaled at the scene. Even though I was able to drive my car around for a little longer, I found out mine was also totaled. I was also thankful that she told the police officer exactly what happened and took full responsibility for the accident. Still, I didn’t know what I was going to do because, even with her insurance, I knew I wasn’t prepared to get a new-to-me car. When my Equip hour (Sunday school) found out what happened, without my knowing, they started raising money to help with the expense. God even showed Himself present through almost every detail of getting that new-to-me car. Though having a car is a big deal, the way God worked through each piece of the puzzle demonstrated His love and care for His people.

The puzzle started with her being so very honest about what happened, so there wouldn’t be dispute with the insurance companies. Then my Equip raised the money. I had prayed for a specific car, but I already made the decision that I would be fine with not having it. Then the last dealership I visited had the exact car I had hoped for on display. It was angled and even pulled up in a way that seemed to say, “Here I am!” It wasn’t even parked like the rest.

After the test drive, I shared with the salesman a little bit of what happened with my car and what my Equip class did. He left the table multiple times, and each time he came back with a cheaper quote. I know that is how they do business, but it seemed like more than usual. Either way, whether it was simply part of his job and making the sale or not, I don’t care. It made it clearer to me that God was present in the process.

Getting the exact car I had hoped for wasn’t evidence that God loved me more than He would have if I hadn’t gotten it. God doesn’t owe us anything. He has already shown His love by sending His perfect Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins and rise again. Jesus wasn’t simply a good man or prophet. He is the risen Son of God, and the one true God. Because of Jesus’ resurrection, He has given us the hope that those who follow Him will one day also rise and live for eternity with Him, with bodies and souls no longer burdened by sin and this broken world. It is also a gift to know that we aren’t going to just be sitting on a cloud, plucking at a harp forever and ever, amen. But that is neither here nor there.

No, God owes me nothing. I wouldn’t have felt less loved by God if another car had been sitting on that lot. But because I knew He didn’t owe me the one I hoped for, receiving it felt like another gift from Him. God didn’t have to give me anything, but He did.

Many times, God provides for the material, and then other times, He provides for the heart and soul. There was a time when I found my heart kneeling on the floor. Because of how I was doing physically at the time, I couldn’t kneel in prayer, but I could sit on the ground with my back leaning against my bed. I was distraught, and at a loss. I was begging for God’s help. I wanted a way out from all of this pain. I begged to feel peace if He wasn’t going to take the pain away. I wanted the peace to just be given to me. I wanted it here and now, without having to do any work.

As I was praying, I had my eyes open, looking at the ground. I kept seeing something in the corner of my eye. After seeing it twice, I looked to find that my Bible was on the ground, leaning against my bedside table. I found it odd. I never put it on the ground before. And then I vaguely remembered putting it there the day before, which, again, was not my norm. I ignored the Bible until I saw it yet again.

In my disheartened state, like a rebellious child, I audibly told my Heavenly Father “No.” I didn’t want to open His Word, but I wanted Him to give me peace. I continued to ask for peace yet again, and again the Bible came into my peripheral vision.

“No!”

Back to praying for peace.

For the third time, I saw the Bible, and I let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine.”

I know, so mature. I took the Bible in hand and did the whole close-your-eyes, flip-it-open, and point thing. Whatever you land on is God’s word for you for the day. Works every time, right?

Leviticus

I know; that was on me. I decided to surrender to the fact that God had orchestrated this moment with the Bible in my hands. I was beginning to wonder if maybe there was a reason I had gone against my norm and put the Bible on the ground the day before, so that it would be waiting for me for such a time as this. I had just started highlighting in Psalms every time the psalmist would cry out to God, as well as the times they reminded themselves of who God is and what He had done throughout their history. So, I turned to the Psalms and began to drink it in. The peace I begged to be given met me after I took the gift God kept trying to offer to me. That day, in that moment, I just had to take it from Him.

Sometimes this concept showed up when a song would stream through my car speakers. I didn’t know how that specific song got on that playlist, but it was the timely gift of peace.

Sometimes it was grocery shopping, after a really difficult day, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to go any other day that week. I wearily went through the store and was looking for the last thing, my favorite drink that I treat myself to while I meal prep. I couldn’t find it in its regular spot. As I turned to leave, I saw it. It sat so far off the shelf that it looked as if it would fall off. I chuckled when I got closer and saw that a display light reflected off of it, as if it were fighting to be seen.

I went from weary and worn to smiling on my way to the register because God reminded me that He saw me and my weariness. So, “here, have your favorite meal prep drink.” Nothing eternally important, but it made an impact on the rest of the day and even in other moments when He brought it back to my mind.

Another time, it was on a run, and I was looking for a token of thankfulness to put in my thankfulness jar. I usually get a whole lot of rocks, which, honestly, I’m fine with, yet I had hoped for something different that day. Still, I would have been content with another rock. As I ran, I suddenly felt my foot kick something, and I watched the object skid forward and stop a few feet away in my path. I stopped and found my thankfulness token. It was a small cardboard block shaped like a princess, with a princess printed on it. I smiled as I pocketed it so I could put it in the jar when I got back to my car

Many would say that some of these things are just coincidences, and maybe some of the details are. But I also believe there are times when our Father uses the ordinary, small things around us to remind His children that He sees them and loves them. Trust me, I have so many other stories like this, but we would be here for a while, if I listed them all.

Those things aren’t always obvious in the moment, but when you look back on your life, you might find occasions when you see God’s fingerprints in the smallest of things.

The thing is that we are always looking for God to show His love in the big things. For example, healing of the body and mind, taking away the burden of a “pet” sin that controls us more than we would like to admit, a new job, new housing, a spouse, etc. We tend to overlook the small gifts because we forget He works in those moments as well.

Sometimes the ‘small’ things is the reminder that His mercies are new every morning. He gives us new strength to get through the next day. Sometimes it is just the right amount of strength to get through the day, but that is a gift. It could be finally being able to sleep after staring at the back of your eyelids for far too long. It could be that “You came to mind. How can I pray?” text that lights up your screen when you were in the thick of a trial. It could also be the painful flare-up that lasted far too long finally leaving just in time for you to enjoy an event you had been planning for months. It is the thing that made you smile when you didn’t think you had much reason to.

When I have been so focused on the things I desperately want Him to change, I’ve missed some of the quiet ways He’s been caring for me while I wait. No, the small gifts don’t make the bigger trials and hurts small. Dad was still laid off. My car was totaled. My body still hurt as I sat against that bed begging for peace.

But those small things reminded me Who was with me every step of the way. They reminded me that the One who sees the smallest of sparrows sees my smallest needs. He even sees the wants I have deemed too small to pray for.

God is not a genie. He will not give you all the wishes and desires you will ever hope for, but like a good father, He dotes on His children. And when we do notice Him working in the small things, may we thank Him! We ask Him for things all the time. That is fine! James 4:2-3 says, “…You do not have because you do not ask. ³You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

Sometimes we ask with the right motives, but God still might not give us what we ask for. Maybe the answer is not yet. Maybe He knows that what we’re asking for wouldn’t ultimately be good for us. Sometimes we may never know the reason this side of eternity.

Do note that God does hear every single prayer. I’ve heard people talk about unanswered prayers, but what feels like God’s silence doesn’t mean He hasn’t heard. Sometimes His answer is yes. Sometimes it is no. Sometimes it is wait. A no is still an answer. It might not be the answer you wanted, but it is still an answer.

Sometimes wait and no can feel exactly the same because we don’t have a timeline for the waiting part. Then, sometimes, we get the fun surprise when we notice God moving in the things that we thought He said no to. Whatever His answer may be, we can trust that our Father hears us. Please do not forget that.

But remember where we started in this entry. Jesus tells us that if imperfect earthly fathers know how to give good gifts to their children, “how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him.” Even though He already knows your requests, He wants you to know that you can go to Him like a child going to their earthly father and ask. So, ask Him, but do not forget to thank Him also.

Our God sees the sparrow. He sees the little things. He sees you.

Selah: When you look back on your life, can you see moments when God moved in the smallest of ways, so small you almost didn’t even notice them? In those moments, did you thank Him? If not, thank Him now.